1. You can enjoy a beer all month. *

2. Beer stains wash out. *

3. You don't have to wine and dine a beer. *

4. Your beer will always wait patiently for you in the car. *

5. When beer goes flat you toss it out. *

6. Beer is never late. *

7. hangovers eventually go away. *

8. A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer. *

9. Beer labels come off without a fight. *

10. When you go to a bar, you know you can always pick up a beer. *

11. Beer never has a headache. *

12. After you have a beer, the bottle is still worth a dime. *

13. A beer won't get upset if you come home with beer on your breath. *

14. If you pour a beer right, you will always get good head. *

15. You can have more than one beer a night and not feel guilty. *

16. A beer always goes down gently. *

17. You can share a beer with your friends and enemies. *

18. You always know that you are the first one to pop a beer. *

19. A beer is always wet. *

20. Beer doesn't demand equality. *

21. A beer doesn't care when you come. *

22. You can have a beer in public. *

23. A frigid beer is a good beer. *

24. You don't have to wash a beer before it tastes good. *

25. Beer always comes in multiples of six. *

26. Beer doesn't mind being in the "wet spot" that IT left. *

27. You can't catch anything but a "buzz" from a beer. *

28. After you have a beer, you're committed to nothing other than dumping the empty bottle. *

29. A beer never costs you more than five dollars and never leaves you thirsty. *

30. When your beer is gone, you just pop another. *

31. You rarely (if ever) find beer labels on the shower curtain rod. *

32. Beer looks the same in the morning. *

33. Beer doesn't look you up in a month. *

34. Beer doesn't worry about someone walking in. *

35. Beer doesn't worry about waking the kids. *

36. Beer doesn't get cramps. *

37. Beer doesn't have a mother. *

38. Beer doesn't have morals. *

39. Beer doesn't go crazy once a month. *

40. Beer always listens and never argues. *

41. Beer labels don't go out of style every year. *

42. Beer doesn't whine, it bubbles. *

43. Beer doesn't have cold hands/feet. *

44. Beer doesn't demand legality. *

45. Beer is never overweight. *

46. If you change beers, you don't have to pay alimony. *

47. Beer won't run off with your credit cards. *

48. Beer doesn't have a lawyer. *

49. Beer doesn't need much closet space. *

50. Beer can't give your herpes or other nasty things. *

51. Beer doesn't complain about the way you drive. *

52. Beer doesn't mind if you fart or belch. *

53. Beer never changes its mind. *

54. Beer doesn't tease you or play hard to get. *

55. Beer never asks you to change the station. *

56. Beer doesn't make you go shopping. *

57. Beer doesn't tell you to mow the grass. *

58. Beer will never make you go to a Swedish movie. *

59. Beer is always easy to pick up. *

60. Big, fat beers are nice to have. *

61. Beer doesn't pout or play games. *

62. Beer NEVER says no. *

63. Beer is easy to get into. *

64. Beer never complains when you take it somewhere. *

65. Beer doesn't need to go to the 'powder room' with other beers. *

66. Beer doesn't wear a bra. *

67. Beer doesn't mind getting dirty. *

68. Beer doesn't complain about insensitivity. *

69. Beer doesn't use up your toilet paper. *

70. Beer doesn't live with its mother. *

71. Beer doesn't blow you off. *

72. Beer doesn't care if you have no culture or manners. *

73. Beer doesn't bitch, yell, or cry. *

74. Beer doesn't mind football season. *

75. A beer won't make you go to church. *

76. A beer is more likely to know how to spell "carburetor" than a woman. *

77. A beer doesn't think baseball is stupid simply because the guys spit. *

78. A beer doesn't think DOS is pronounced "dose". *

79. A beer doesn't give a toss if you keep a bunch of other beers around. *

80. A beer will not insist that those odious Michelin commercials with the babies are "cute". *

81. If a beer leaks all over the room, it smells kinda good for a while. *

82. A beer will not call you a sexist pig *

83. A beer will never make you see its parents *

84. A beer won't claim that the Three Stooges are shitheads. *

85. A beer won't raise a fuss about a little thing like leaving the toilet seat up. *

86. A beer will never stop you from watching Playboy. *

87. A beer won't whine that seatbelts hurt. *

88. A beer won't smoke in your car. *

89. A beer never watches opera. *

90. A beer will never buy a car with automatic transmission. *

91. A beer will never complain when you disobey nature. *

92. A beer is always ready to leave on time. *

93. A beer never fishes for compliments. *

94. Some beers (e.g. St. Pauli Girl) have fabulous tits. *

95. Beer tastes good. *

96. A beer will never accuse you of rape. *

97. A beer won't raise any objections to an evening of watching *

98. An ice-cold beer will nonetheless let you have your way with it. *

99. A beer won't make you pick up some tampons when you go to the store.

Man Laws

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